If You're Smelly And You Know It

'Tis painful when young college men
Do not shower for days on end.
When the underpants smell
They exclaim, 'What the hell,
Just turn 'em and wear 'em again!'

The whiff of unwashed loins, they say,
Is enough to drive the ladies away
Who make do with toys
For all the clean boys
Are either taken or incurably gay.

But take heart, there's news to be told,
Dear stinkers, you may stink uncontrolled
And rejoice in your dirt
As long as you flirt
With a lassie nose-jammed with a cold!

The Misogynist

A suave gentleman had a yen

To cultivate a taste for men;

The ladies they cried

For much as they tried
He fudgepacked his own brethren.

Four Dirty Poems

Bored one night, when Zoo had this idea about writing limericks. So we juggled lines. My favourite parts are all his (sigh), but I'm gonna steal all the credit by posting them here first.
                 

                   (I)
I went down the road for a smoke,
Some Kaapi Nirvana and Coke.
I pulled out my gun
Coz (behold the fun)
My wallet was gone! I was broke!


                    (II)
(At this point, ladies - take your leave, lest you be offended by the appearance of impropriety. In my defence, Zoo is the perv. What to do.)


When a man and a woman have sex,

It pains so they need Iodex.

He rubs it on her,

She says, 'Dearest Sir,

Those two are my breasts, not my legs.'

                   (III)
Not to save water do dear Jack 'n Jill
Use condoms instead of the pill,
Instead, condoms omnipresent
Make Jack's rod un-crescent,
Jill needn't turn elsewhere for her fill.


                   (IV)
She took off her clothes one by one
After a long sweaty run in the sun,
To get rid of the stench
She rubbed 'gainst a bench.
Pigeon shit now laced her left bun.


<snicker>